My version of Chapter 27 of the book Me before you
by kpfanfiction
Summary: I enjoyed this book, but wished for a different ending for Will and Clark's story. I wrote my version of the final chapter, then added a new epilogue. Note that these posts deal with what the end of the book/story, so anyone who does not want the ending of the original book spoiled should not read this! If you do read & like this, please check out my other stories! Thanks & enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

"Me Before You" - Chapter 27 – my version

27

Turning quickly, in order to prevent Will from seeing my face as it involuntarily twisted and screwed in upon itself while my stomach simultaneously dropped into my shoes, I headed for the door. I silently swore to myself, as I had been doing since receiving Camilla's phone call and agreeing to come to Switzerland, that I would not make this harder on Will than it had to be. I reminded myself firmly that I was not to play the martyr or to dare make this about me. This was about Will; it was his life and his decision. I was telling myself this silently while also cursing myself for having taken the seat on the far side of his bed because now I was certain I was not going to make it to the door, which seemed to be stretching farther and farther away from me like some kind of horrible nightmare, when I was stopped in my tracks, "Clark?" I froze. Never one for making things easy on me, Will said it again, quietly and calmly, as if he was about to ask me the weather or something, just that, just, "Clark?" It undid my totally. A silent gasp of a sob escaped me, despite my best efforts, and I paused, willing myself to breathe, to pull it back together, to give him this one thing that he had asked and to accept his decision. Frozen in place, I breathed and forced the blackness that was closing in around me to dissipate. It felt like it took an eternity, but it was probably only a moment, because Will was still calmly waiting for my response, which I gave without turning around, "Yes, Will?" There was silence, he probably hadn't even heard me, I still forgot sometimes that it's necessary to speak a bit louder to someone who is lying down and unable to reposition themselves to easily face you; clearing my throat and gaining a bit of resolve, I said again, "Yes, Will?"

"Where are you going Clark?" "Why you've asked me to get your parents, Will. I'm going to get your parents. I'm doing as you asked." And then there was silence. Silence from me, because I knew I couldn't trust myself to speak. It had been a Herculean effort to get out the info about where I was going without dissolving." I waited, but there was again no reply for another moment. Not wanting this moment to end, awkward and painful as it was, I stood there longer, waiting for Will to tell me to get to it. When he finally spoke though, it wasn't to tell me to get on with it at all. Instead he spoke my name again, just simply and plainly, "Clark." And I replied, without thinking, "Will." And then he said, "You know I love you, Clark. Don't you?" I didn't reply; Will went on. "You understand that the six months I've spent with you have been the happiest I've ever had and that I am madly in love with you?" This nearly pushed me over the cliff of holding myself together and silent tears were spilling down my cheeks as I fought with myself to maintain any shred of self-control. Quietly, and still without turning around and while swallowing the thousand "whys" that were swirling around in my head, I gritted my teeth and battled to think rationally and speak calmly as I said, "Thank you, Will Traynor. I hope you know that I love you too." Then I paused and took a breath, "Now, please Will, tell me what you want me to do because I'm trying very hard to get this right."

There was a pause that felt eternal before I heard the sound of Will's soft laughter. Disbelieving, I spun around, and as I saw his face, my tears turning from grief to rage, "Will Traynor, you stop laughing this instant! How can you laugh at a moment like this? You're horrible, horrible..." And that was all I had, I just dissolved in a gasping sob and fell into the chair beside Will's bed, thinking as I did so that, tragically, this would be the last time that Will Traynor would ever infuriate me! That was the worst of it, this being the last time.

When my sobs finally quieted, I lifted my head to look at Will, who was calmly watching me. As I looked up, he smiled and I took his hand. I felt the gentle return of pressure he could give and managed to smile back. "You alright, Clark?" And this time I was the one to laugh. It was a small, rather pathetic laugh, but there it was. "I don't know that 'alright' is the word I'd use, Will, but," I took a deep breath here, steeling myself not to start blubbering again, "Yes." And then Will took a deep breath and said softly, "Good, Clark. Thank you." And then, coolly, "Can you call my parents in then?" "Of course, Will; whatever you want, my love." I leaned in then, and kissed him. And when I sat up again, I noticed that something in the set of his face had changed a bit, I think it would have been imperceptible to virtually anyone else, and I can't quite explain what was different, but it was there. Looking back, I can best describe it as a release of sorts, as if a bit of the worry and pain that he always wore was somehow lifted and seemed to just leave him. As I studied his beautiful face, I thought about that pain and worry he always wore and it helped me see that, as hard as being here and knowing why we were here was for me, the things Will had to bear were harder still for him.

"Clark," he said, "can you call my parents in?" Embarrassed to realize he'd asked me that some time ago, before my breakdown had shifted his course. I realized in disgust that of course he wanted to get on with things and not drag them out eternally. I was mentally chastising myself when he added, "I want to tell them I've changed my mind.."


	2. Epilogue (Me before you)

Epilogue…

Coming home from Switzerland was strange, but wonderful. It was a quiet trip, with each of us feeling, I think, thankful in our own way. I know I was enormously grateful and blessed, even Will felt that way, I think. Although we never spoke of it directly, I felt then and I still believe that whatever had passed between us that day at Dignitas had granted Will the peace of mind he was seeking in his planned suicide; and it freed him from the need to end his life. I believe that, from that day forward, Will trusted that his life truly was his own and that knowledge enabled him to make peace with his life. And Will making peace with his own life, allowed Will to trust me and for us to build a new life, together. We had 42 more months from that day to this. And we lived every one of them.

The first few weeks after our return passed quickly and easily. We spent our time talking and working out the practical details of our lives together; in these weeks, we became partners – equal partners. As our relationship bloomed, another withered though. It was not long after we returned that Mr. and Mrs. Traynor came calling to quietly announce that they were divorcing, both of them agreeing to accept and heed Will's advice that life is short and unpredictable, and too precious to live in regret. I think his frankness helped them both to see that they were fighting a losing battle in trying to preserve their marriage; I also think they were both happier once free of that burden. Camilla took it fairly well, actually, throwing herself into her work and also the planning of our wedding, which we celebrated 6 months later at the castle.

Our wedding was quietly beautiful. Camilla and my mum worked together to plan it, running everything by Will and I for approval. Doing so allowed my mum to get to know Will in a way she hadn't before, and I think that helped her to understand him a bit more and to forgive me for the choice I'd made in going to Switzerland with him months earlier. I also think mum loved being in on the planning of such a posh party as Camilla designed. Dad told me she would report gleefully to him nightly on the process and said with a wink that he expected she would actually be disappointed when the wedding day came, because she was so enjoying the process of preparing for it.

Actually though, mum was, of course, beaming on the actual day of and it was hard to tell of whom she was most proud – me, for marrying; Thomas, for serving as ring bearer; or herself, for her work as party planner. Nathan, Treen and Georgia made up our wedding party, along with Thomas, who took his job as ring bearer quiet seriously until he saw a rabbit hopping across the great lawn; then he tossed the satin pillow with our rings to the ground and took off at a full run after the rabbit. This made me smile and caused Will to laugh out loud and suggest we proceed with the ceremony sans rings, although Treen and Georgia were both aghast at this and, after collecting the rings themselves, handing them to us at the proper moments.

Fourteen months to the day after our wedding, Will and I became parents. Many were surprised that this was possible, but, yes; it's true that quads can father children and that's just what Will did! (I'll spare you the details and you can look them up yourself if you're so interested.)

Willa Clark Traynor entered the world at 4:32 AM on a brisk and sunny Sunday morning in March. As everyone who knows her is aware, she instantly became the light and joy of our lives. From the moment we met Willa, neither Will nor I could take our eyes off of her! (Much to the chagrin of all would-be babysitters!) We spent hours in those early days, weeks and months just watching Willa and smiling and, still, parenthood is utter joy; but Will and I are far from Willa's only devotees. Aunties Treen and Georgia, all four grandparents, and even big cousin Thomas, all will agree that, from the moment she arrived home, Willa has made this already beautiful life even brighter and more joyful. And the fact that Willa looks almost exactly like Will is a blessing both for her (because Will was so stunningly gorgeous) and for me because, now that my beloved Will is gone, I have the comfort of seeing him reflected in our daughter.

Will, Willa and I had 22 months together before pneumonia took Will from us, after a nine day battle. These last few days have been hard, but they have also been our last days together and, as such, they have been the best days in the world. We are so proud of Will for fighting as he did. He never gave in, and I know, would have given anything to stay with us, but it was not to be. Sadly, Will is gone and there is nothing we can do to change that; however, as Will told me on his last day, it is important to remember that life goes on. And it is the responsibility of the living, to live it.

Will taught me that.

In the time we were together, Will Traynor taught me many things; and he helped me in many ways. He freed me from my past and helped me to see that I could change my present and create my future. In short, Will taught me to live life. Will always, even before his accident, lived each day fully. Those of you who knew him then remember Will as a skier, a diver, a traveler, a businessman, and an adventurer. I wasn't lucky enough to know Will all that time, but I do know that, since his accident, Will came to believe that each day is a gift, even though some days are hard. As Willa and I move forward into tomorrow, and into our next adventure, we will miss Will, every day, but in missing him, we will also be reminded of how wonderful it was to live with him.

I am thankful for the gift of the 1461 days I lived with Will Traynor. When days are hard, I will remember easier days, with Will, and I will remind myself that each day we are alive is an incredible gift. I encourage you to do the same.


End file.
